2.02.2006

12 LBS from Perfect

I often joke with my little sister, whose belief it is that I have an ego the size of the Eiffel Tower, that if I lost 12 pounds I would be a perfect human being -- Derek Jeter, Brad Pitt and Albert Einstein all rolled into one Littyhoops.

I then go on to tell her that perhaps I will give her the honor of writing my biography which would be entitled "12 LBS From Perfect: Littyhoops Life of near Perfection"

I tell you this because after two weeks of Israel and London I was very close to becoming a full blown anorexic and was shedding weight like a sumo wrestler In a sauna. Actually, it was one of the jokes of birthright Israel bus 15 -- Blaze is anorexic. The irony in this is that I am the "fat kid" when I go to eat with my friends.

"Litty, you really had to order that extra Bog Mac you fat ass"
"why dont you just eat the rest of the food on the table"
"Im not sharong the B-market meal with Litty".

- All these have been said by evanter and brett many a times.

I initially made the decision to quit eating for a few reasons:

1) After 7 straight meals of hummus and cole slaw I forgot good food actually exits
2) For awhile I had quit sleeping so figured quitting eating was the next logical move
3) My fuel of life was the spirituality of Israel and I did not need to follow the worldly way
4) Freak people out some more - they already thought I had an eye disease and was always stoned

My plan was to start eating like a madman once I hit europe but then I found out British people eat the worst freaking food In the world. KFC and Curry are there go to meals - NYC has pizza, SD has burritos, the UK has some smelly chicken shit.

By the way, I don’t even like Indian food but I eat It every meal because I would rather have good food that I don’t like then the rest of the crap they serve. By the way Fish and Chips sound alot better than It Is. Basically they catch a dirty fish from the Thames and throw It In the frying pan. To help you explain It can also be

1) Fish Funnel Cake
2) Catching a pigeon In NYC and deep frying It
3) Fish sticks that you ate when you were a kid with 5 extra codings of fried stuff


Thankfully I´ve hit France where I got some good grub - crapes and pananis - and now I’m in Madrid and had a bomb lunch of roast beef for real cheap. Come Italy I should be hitting my stride and those Italians better watch out.

At least the title of my book remains safe!

16 Comments:

Anonymous Courtney, the little sister said...

Your next post sould be Littyhoops vs. Blaze - a battle of the doppelgangers

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Guess? said...

I wish I only needed to shed 12lbs to be perfect

10:08 AM  
Anonymous ONE SIX said...

DID YOU MEAN TO WRITE BUS 16 INSTEAD OF 15?

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